Letter to the Editor: Killingworth Where Are You?

Killingworth, Connecticut I am ashamed of you. I am so disappointed that EVERY town around us, big and small held a vigil Sunday and we had to travel to another town to participate.


Killingworth, Connecticut I am ashamed of you. I am so disappointed that EVERY town around us, big and small held a vigil Sunday and we had to travel to another town to participate.

We have plenty of space, resources and means to host our own. It is downright embarrassing that we are not coming together as a community to support the victims and families of the Sandy Hook Elementary School shooting, particularly since it is within our region. EVERY SINGLE town that surrounds us is holding a vigil... we stand alone by not having one. That is shameful. Even if ten people showed up... we'd be three of those! Connecticut is a small state, when you hurt one town - you hurt all of us. We must come together and show solidarity in this time of tragedy. And tonight, my family will do that even though as a town you have failed us.

St. Lawrence in Killingworth is holding a vigil, though it is probably by their coordination. And I thank them for that. When I expressed my opinions on this subject to Killingworth Today I was asked 'what I had done to arrange a vigil or who I had contacted' - I don't have the exact wording as the comments were deleted. My response was the following:

I look to our Town Government for leadership... like the other towns. They are leaders, which are why they are elected, not me. Their Selectman and leaders and churches came together and organized their vigils. I happen to work for two other municipalities and know how their vigils were organized and they didn't have to be urged by citizens. Granted, they were coordinated with the citizens which is how it should be. But Town leaders are supposed to be the ambassadors of the residents of their Town. They are representatives for us. So when a tragedy happens, we look to them to reach out on our behalf (which I assume was done), organize events such as vigils for residents, etc. Every town surrounding/near us had a vigil - Clinton, Westbrook, Madison, Essex, etc. etc. etc. and it is embarrassing that on Sunday... Killingworth was dark. But I guess I will take your suggestion. I will take it upon myself and make sure it happens because apparently I cannot rely on the powers that be to do so.

One reason I didn't 'reach out' to anyone is because we have a newly functioning website and our Town officials don't use social media the way many other towns do. They used it for updates during Hurricane Sandy, they used it to reassure parents Friday about school security measures and they've used it since then to update citizens on vigils, fundraisers, etc. for Sandy Hook victims. And where is Killingworth?? **crickets** 

Killingworth is facing a lot of problems right now... the least of which is the lack of a Facebook account. But when it is all added up- we are in the dark ages. And our Town in crisis. Bank robberies, regular burglaries, lack of communication during emergencies/storms... and if we can't do something as small but meaningful as come together as a community and plan a vigil to honor the victims of a tragedy in our own region I can’t imagine how we can conquer larger issues.

Where are our leaders??

Sarah Renois Judge, Killingworth

Jennifer Malone December 20, 2012 at 07:47 PM
Very well said Sarah!!
MYOB December 21, 2012 at 01:22 AM
Killingworth has been a dysfunctional town for decades, probably forever. If you ask town officials to do their job, they want you to do it. And now I hear they want you to pay for a big palace for them to work in. I am not saying this is good. In fact it is bad, but that is the way Killingworth works and has for a very long time. From personal experience, I can say you will be much happier leaving. A current Killingworth resident sent me the link to your well written and well reasoned piece, so I look on from greener pastures and sigh . . .
Ex-Democrat December 21, 2012 at 06:44 AM
I did not want to bring politics into this horrible event but jeez what do you expect? The people here just keep loyally voting these characters in over and over like lemmings and nobody ever looks at what they actually do while in office. Our town officials were just so happy as a clam to hold a huge press conference to brag when they got a half million dollar grant for that pretty new town hall they wanted but they cant even put out one word saying sorry for your loss let alone a memorial. This is what leadership is in killingworth. Heck even those republicans wrote something really nice and they lost elections all over the place. I have fifty bucks that says now that iino has been yelled at by judge she will spontaneously find her caring side and organize a memorial after the fact and when i say organize i mean someone at the parmalee farm will do all the work for her. Any takers?
DGC3 December 21, 2012 at 12:28 PM
I agree with who ever suggested that you arrange it. Step up!
Jay Heavens December 21, 2012 at 03:13 PM
Oh my God! Killingworth has no facebook page! How will it survive? What's truly deplorable is that Sarah's missive is no different from that of the anti-gun zealots who are using the Sandy Hook victims to further their cause - Sarah's version - her blaming on town leaders for her menu of ridiculous, unfounded concerns. This is inexcusable behavior. Had she done her research, she would have easily discovered that the vigils in the surrounding towns were not initiated by the town governments, but by their Lions organizations and their churches - same as she said is being done by Killingworth's St. Lawrence. When towns and cities hold such vigils, they are usually organized by volunteers and churches. Tacking your utterly ridiculous and empty list of grievances to your supposed concern for honoring victims from another town is untenable and petty. Of course, though, you will get the usual cast of tea party clowns to amen it. By the way, I got 2-3 calls from Town officials during the last hurricane telling me where to find the food, water, and shelter the town made available. I've no doubt you did, too.
Cheryl Fine December 21, 2012 at 05:19 PM
The Congregational Church in Killingworth is open all day today (Friday 8am to 8pm) for a prayer vigil. All are welcomed to come sit in the sanctuary for quiet, prayful, reflective time. Many of us were here at 9:30 to ring the bell 26 times.
haddam1 December 21, 2012 at 09:02 PM
She should do herself a favor, pack her stuff and move. You seem like you'd be better suited for a place like Madison with all your crying. We don't need your outside opinions anyhow. You can take them back west with you when you go.
Graig Judge December 24, 2012 at 06:54 PM
Use your name countryboy, dont be a coward. Sincerely, Graig S. Judge, 81 Route 80 Killingworth CT. I am not moving, I will voice my opinion.
Jay Heavens December 24, 2012 at 09:30 PM
Didn't see you at the Congregational Church vigil, Sarah. Nor did I see you helping the Lion's collect donations on Saturday. Did see our first selectwoman there, though. Buy, hey - you just keep sitting back and letting others do what you complain doesn't get done.
Tim Gannon December 24, 2012 at 10:44 PM
Folks, let's take a break, It's Christmas time, and let's get in the Christmas spirit and leave, the not so nice comments, for another time. I hope everyone has a nice Christmas and good holiday, however you celebrate it. Merry Christmas!!!!!
Wendy Vincent December 25, 2012 at 12:21 AM
Thank you, Tim! Happy Holidays. :)
Karen Milano December 26, 2012 at 01:02 PM
Bravo, Jay Heavens. I am so very proud to live in this small community where time and time again residents and town officials have come together, whether in times of crisis or to get a job done - for the good of the community. Is it a perfect world here in Killingworth? - heck no - there is no such thing and there is always room for improvement. I have no doubt, though, through proof of events, that we have some of the most caring, selfless people involved in running and organizing and volunteering here in Killingworth. Sarah - There were several ways you could have participated in vigils or collections here in town for the benefit of the victims of Sandy Hook, if that was your desire. Our First Selectwoman was present. I hope you were able to get out and participate. To all those I see here on a regular basis bashing and complaining, my suggestion would be that you become part of the solution, contribute to your community in positive ways, instead of spreading your contempt. You should all be ashamed of the meanspirited behavior you show in this forum.
Sarah Judge December 28, 2012 at 02:56 PM
Jay, how do you know where I was?? Do you know what I look like because I don't know what you look like so that is kind of creepy... But if you must know, we already participated in a vigil - in Clinton. On Sunday. And we have a two year old so participating in vigils isn't easy with a toddler as it is and multiple would be a lot to ask of her. But we did the first one that came up, in Clinton. Attendance can be verified as we were approached by multiple people saying how happy they were seeing and hearing our daughter there. As for sitting back?? Our business and personal page has been used to notify people of every vigil, fundraiser, gathering, etc. so that the community and friends can take advantage of every opportunity to help and get involved. And we personally have done that as well. We have already participated in fundraisers and events long before the snowflake campaign. So just because I didn't have a media outlet following me to document my actions, didn't mean I wasn't doing something. But more than that, I was using my page and our business page to share the information that we have and could get to help others. We shared all local vigils that Sunday - Essex, Clinton, Madison, etc. We wanted people to be aware of every opportunity. And I had every intention of personally bringing a snowflake, but our dog became very ill and was dying and we chose to stay home with her, as we did most days until she passed recently. Don't make assumptions sir.
Sarah Judge December 28, 2012 at 03:13 PM
And perhaps, for those of us that couldn't attend the snowflake campaign and address so that we could send ours? I was going to do that anyway, but it would be nice for others that could go to have it out there. Not everyone can go, that is the point. Communication.
Jay Heavens December 28, 2012 at 03:41 PM
Sarah is clearly exposing her MO in here. She's an armchair alarmist, making invalid claims - looking to ramp up the drama. I never said I knew where she was (as she claims) - and she knows that - my letter is still there up above. I said I knew where she WASN'T! But she intentionally phrased her comment to try to paint me in a negative light. I knew all of the faces I saw at those events, and by simple extrapolation, concluded that hers was not among them. And I was correct. Sarah should just retract her ridiculous article. Especially in light of the fact she was proven wrong. Her far-fetched allegations of the town she so hates do nothing to help anyone.
Sarah Judge December 28, 2012 at 03:50 PM
My MO? Are you serious? Here you go detective - my MO is ALL I ever wanted was for a vigil in Killingworth FOR Killingworth residents. My secondary MO is that I would like to see more communication for and to residents via any sort of social media or website. That is all. I don't care about politics - I am in fact non-partisan. I don't care about who is in power. Those are THE ONLY TWO things I wanted. EVER. My apologies, I did not realize how important you are in Killingworth and know so very many faces. I am not hiding that I did not attend. I never said I went. I am not retracting any article. For one, it is not an article. It is a "Letter to the Editor" which is an opinion. If you don't like it, don't read it and mind your own business. I don't hate Killingworth, I am disappointed in certain aspects of it. Don't put words in my mouth.
Jay Heavens December 28, 2012 at 07:35 PM
Um... your letter is under "LETTERS to the Editor". You have shown how disingenuous you are every step of the way in here. Even to the point of calling your letter an article. This town is not the right fit for you, Sarah. And you are more than disappointed in it (we're in the "dark ages", "in crisis", "embarrassing") and do nothing but complain. I'm sure there are lots of places you'd be happier (okay, not so sure). Hey, but you stick to your guns, just for the sake of being too stubborn to admit you're wrong. You now know that town officials do not organize religious vigils - in any of the towns you so lauded. Hold on to your bitterness. It will really help others.
Sarah Judge December 28, 2012 at 08:08 PM
I am completely open to admit that I am wrong in not organizing a vigil from the start, as I stated in my LETTER. I should have realized it was not being done and stepped up. I should never have assumed. I regret my actions deeply. I had no idea that nothing was being done in line with the other towns. For that, I am wrong. But you have no right to tell me what I feel or what is or isn't the right fit for me. You don't know me or anything about me so stop acting like you do and making erroneous statements. You are taking this too far. I am allowed to state opinions and disappointment. That is all this was. And that is what this free society is about. And I do happen to know how some of the town's organized vigils as some of them were made part of public record. However, some were not even religious vigils. Here's a scandal for you buddy - I don't believe in organized religion! *gasp* Judge me now. So I don't seek out formal religious vigils though I would gladly attend one if organized. Many of the ones organized were 'candlelight vigils.' But why not call it a day. You think I am disingenuous and this isn't the right fit for me and I think... well, I'll keep that to myself. I think this has gone far enough. Honestly. It literally was mean to be a Letter to the Editor to relay an opinion. Not a witch hunt.
Jay Heavens December 28, 2012 at 08:26 PM
Okay. I'm willing to call it a day. Have a happy New Year.


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